So...
Jordan and I took the plunge yesterday and after many weeks of procrastinating decided to take Silas' pacifier away. He is OVER two now, he doesn't technically NEED it any more, it could be damaging his teeth... our reasons were solid. However, by 10:30 last night when there was still crying going on, I couldn't remember any of them. All I was thinking about was who cares if he has a pacifier? So what if he needs it to fall to sleep, he is ONLY two, he'll probably need braces one day no matter when we take it away, he does look super cute sleeping away with it in his mouth... ahhh, the sleeping is what we were mostly missing.
We had done a test run a couple weeks ago and poked holes in his pacifier one night (a commonly known suggestion for weaning them because the sucking power is gone). He fussed and then cried for a while and when Jordan went up to check on him he was standing in his crib, holding out his paci, saying "a new one Dad, I need a new one". We figured we better go all or nothing and decided to give it up for that night.
I thought we had a great strategy this time, building up the "big boy" status, we even got him his own indoor basketball hoop that is of course only for big boys. We went on and on about how pacifiers are for babies and he doesn't need one. This was a huge success in the potty training department, so I was really hoping it would at least ease the transition for him.
Not so much.
We put him to bed at 8:30, knowing that we would be gracious to him on his first "pie-less" night. We took turns going up and singing to him again, rocking him some more, reminding him what a big boy he was and how proud we were of him. At 10:30, we turned to stronger forces and gave him cough medicine to help take off the edge. It did nothing. at 11 he was still going strong, cycling through crying, yelling for his pie (his affectionate name for the pacifier), and then pep talking himself that he was a big boy and pies were for babies. Finally, Jordan and I were at the end of our ever loving ropes. So much for this kid crying himself to sleep (as we had heard they would), he was going to stay awake all night! Many of my friends had recently pulled the pacifiers from their two year olds and had minimal resistance followed by no problems at all. We struggled between feeling like it wasn't worth it, and then feeling like we were in it too far to back out now. Shortly after 11, Jordan went in for another pep talk. He walked Silas around the room reminding him what a big boy he was and that he did not need his pie anymore. The lack of response from the over-worked tot was evidence that he was running out of steam (or the meds were really kicking in). So he put him in the bed, tip toed out of the room, and we both raced around like little mice silently getting ourselves into bed as fast as we could not knowing how long the quiet would last.
3:45 AM...I hear stirring over the monitor, then whimpering. I am starting to whimper myself. In the next hour I was in and out of Silas room 4 times. Taking him to the bathroom, rocking him, soothing him, encouraging him to be tough. It was again Jordan to the rescue around 4:30, he went in and told Silas to put his head on the pillow. There is just something about that Dad authority. I heard him tell Silas that I would be in to rub his back. So Jordan went to bed (thinking of his full day of work only hours away) and I went in and hung myself over the side of the crib nearly squishing my unborn child while my arm was going numb, and rubbed his back until his breathing was heavy and my back was throbbing. He fell back to sleep, I limped into my bed and prayed God be gracious on the rest of our night. It was nearly 5 am.
I got up to get ready shortly after 7, and my guys slept heavily until nearly 9. Silas topped off our night of struggles with wetting his bed this morning... nothing quite like that kind of icing on the cake.
I am at a loss. I know, we are just in the beginning stages, these things take time, give him a few days...blah, blah, blah! I am feeling pressured by thinking this is "the time" to get rid of it, "we've already taken it away, we can't give it back now", and "it will only get harder to take it the longer we wait." But then, the other side of me remembers that I sucked my thumb until longer than I would like to admit (so I won't), every kid develops differently and maybe he really just isn't ready to give it up, and it really makes all of our lives soooo much easier!
It is nap time now, Silas has been in his bed for an hour, and he is just now quiet and starting to wind down. Maybe this will get better as the days go on. But what if it doesn't? My sister in law, Mandy, took the pacifier away from her 2 1/2 year old last summer, and he essentially quit napping. Three friends of mine from church have told their kids that they are all done with the pacifier, taken it away, and not had a problem since. My cousin Shilo pulled pacifiers from her kids, they had a few days of rough naps and bed times, and then totally fine after that. I also fear replacing one habit with another. If I have to rock him to sleep every night to help him calm down, have I accomplished anything? What if he takes up sucking his thumb? That is even harder to quit than the pacifier (I speak from experience here, as noted earlier). To top it all off, I have no conclusions for the next baby. I still really think some kids need a pacifier, I'll probably still give one to the next baby. Do I take it away sooner, do they eventually just give it up on their own, is their a better way to wean them? I am at a total loss here! Plus, we have more transitions to come... a big boy bed one day, a new sibling in September... I feel like we both need some recovery time in between these things. All I can say was potty training, the whole three days and every accident that has happened since then (including the one this morning) all combined were NOTHING in comparison to last night. I think it is the crying... I cannot take listening to my baby being so miserable!
Well, I am open for suggestions, prayers, getting the sense knocked into me... whatever it takes. As of now, he is sleeping, and this pregnant momma, running on a chopped up 6 hours of sleep, is going to take a nap!
*By the way, I have no pictures to post with this, because if any of you think I am risking entering his room once he is asleep to capture him sleeping without his pacifier, you are totally wrong. You'll just have to imagine his cute little face, sound asleep, with no "pie". :)
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