This has been a summer packed full of visits with family. Each special visit deserves it's own blog post, and perhaps that is something I will get to later, but the summarization of the visits requires reflection now.
Spending time with family from both sides has been a gift of diversity and unique expression of love. We experienced so many variations of affection and affirmation. Each one plays differently to the hearts of the members in our little family. Through all of these interactions I feel like we ended the summer with a rich understanding of the character of God. The combined reflection of our extended family scrapbooked together an image of our creator that would be less vivid had one been missing. The summer was beautiful.
Two weeks ago, just after we returned from the Baker family reunion in Atlanta, I took Silas and Holland to attend the Thank Offering Celebration that my Aunt Jules and Uncle Calvin were hosting. They have begun a tradition to have a night of praise and worship and thanks in responsive gratitude for all that God has done in their healing prayer ministry.
Admittedly, I first decided to go out of a desire to honor my Aunt and Uncle. We had been traveling for nearly 17 hours the day before and not only were the kids wiped out, but the parents were just beat down. But I had already committed to being there, and I knew that our family had a lot of thanking to do for the way this healing prayer ministry had been healing to us...I felt like I really should go. Jordan offered to keep Trey and Jewel home with him since they were having the most difficult time recovering from the trip. So Silas and I took Holland and set out.
It was quiet on the way. I felt like I should be trying to explain the upcoming evening to him, or prepare his heart in some way, but I didn't quite know how and the silence in the car was welcome after our long day. I just quietly prayed in my heart that God would give him understanding and appreciation.
When we arrived everyone was in the basement of the church having a huge family dinner. The event was at the Korean church where both my Aunt Jules and Uncle Cal and my Aunt Shin and Uncle Dan attend and serve. We were greeted with huge hugs, big smiles, mounding plates of the most delicious Korean food, and serving hands to hold the baby and take the bag and pull out a chair. I was surprised and thrilled to see my cousin Jake and his family had driven down from Seattle to be there, and Joseph and his family had come in support as well. I was thankful to see Dan and Shin whom I hadn't seen in a long time and also the familiarity of the hugs of Cal and Julie. I was impressed and delighted to see that their daughter in law, Theresa, had come with her five kids even though her husband wasn't able to make it. But as we were steered toward a table to sit, my eyes locked with my Pake. He stood and stretched his arms out to me and grinned his big grin. I was so glad my arms were baby and bag free, I set down my plate and just took a hold of that hug with everything in me. I had no idea that he and my Beppe were making the trip for the celebration, and it was just overwhelming me with joy! He kissed my cheek and squeezed me tight and pulled me back to look at my face. We both had tears in our eyes. He pointed to Beppe sitting next to him who was deeply engaged in conversation. He whispered in my ear, "would you please sit here and interrupt her, this woman is hogging all of her time." I smiled and sat and was gladly the reason for their conversation to be cut short so that I could hug and kiss my Beppe.
We quickly ate our dinner and at the sound of Tyler's trumpet, we moved upstairs to the sanctuary for the service. I sat next to Beppe, Pake on her other side and Silas on my other side and Holland on my lap. We then embarked on the greatest journey of intentional praise that I had ever been on.
Each chair had been equipped with a party favor, noise making party favors. As we began to sing and worship, Cal and Julie encouraged all of us to make a joyful noise unto the Lord. A third of the congregation were kids. They knew exactly how to make a joyful noise and that is just what they did. With kazoos and whistles and little horns, we sang our hearts out to Jesus. Silas looked at me a little unsure at first, as if to ask if blowing horns in church is actually OK. I smiled and nodded and he joined the chorus. In between the songs, we read scripture about the different ways that God's people thanked him. We listened to the testimony of several people whom had been under the counsel and direction of God through Cal and Julie's ministry. We heard diverse stories of Jesus redeeming and healing broken hearts. We prayed in our hearts, we listened to heart felt prayers and agreed, and we all prayed out loud in the Korean tradition of "Praying Loudly". Through all of it, Holland bounced away on my legs, reaching over to Beppe for smiles and kisses and sweet caressing. She craned her neck over to Pake to flash her brightest eyed smile and to start hopping in excitement at his animated response to her. I held Beppe's hand as we sang at the top of our lungs in worship to Jesus. I leaned over and whispered the steps of taking communion as Silas watched Uncle Cal and the pastor of the Korean church prepare the table before us. He took his first communion, a saved child of the Father, right there next to me that evening.
At first I was tempted to keep checking the clock. The service started at 7, and by 8 I was calculating Silas wouldn't be in bed until close to 9, even if we left right then. But neither one of us wanted to go. I stepped out to feed Holland and decided I would stay, in fact I wanted to be the last one to leave. Where else would I rather be, where else would I rather Silas to be, then right here in the midst of God's presence, surrounded by extended family?
The service was an indescribable intertwining of intentionality and freedom. On one hand, it was clear that so much prayer, thought, and planning had gone into the song choices, the order of ceremony, the testimonies shared, and the verses read. And yet, in the midst of that we were not bound to a formula. We so freely worshiped. Cal and Jules "led" the order of events, but it was not a program. All of their grandchildren were there, and if at some time one of them just wanted to be with their grandparents, they would simply run up the center aisle, jump onto a lap or an empty seat, and be welcomed with a smile and a squeeze. During the quiet times, inevitably one or more of the kids needed to see how their instrument of praise sounded all on it's own...and that was OK. We all belted out the songs, not at all worried about how we sounded, because we were singing with kazoos, and it made the praise all the more genuine. We sang the song 10,000 Reasons. I was closing my eyes and just swaying with Holland in my arms...until we got to the final verse. I looked over at my grandparents who were immersed in praise, arms lifted and eyes closed, and just wept as we sang,
"And on that day when my strength is failing, the end draws near and my time has come.
Still my soul will sing your praise unending, 10,000 years and then forevermore."
Three people got up to share testimonies. Although Calvin and Jules were the vehicle that God chose to bring healing and restoration to these people, they were not the center of the testimony. They received a glancing mention at best as these rescued hearts gloated the love of their Savior in their lives. One woman shared about her difficult childhood that led to a life of alcoholism. After 20 years she had been through AA, and had been sober for a significant amount of time. But she admitted that although she was no longer drinking, she was still an addict in her heart. She reported that after meeting with Jules, she realized that AA could not offer her Jesus, and that he was the healer and restorer that she had longed for. It wasn't all so that she could quit drinking, it was so that she could start to experience Jesus for herself and have the freedom to share her reflection of Jesus with others. Another man got up to share about his life as a pastor. He did a lot of counseling and had begun to take on the burdens of those he counseled. He would experience such fear and anxiety over trying to say the right thing to each one. Then he started to meet with Uncle Cal and experience what it means to be rescued by Jesus. He cried and laughed as he admitted that he is the counselor that doesn't say anything! People come, people share, but he simply says "Let's ask God what he wants to tell us about this," and then he marvels at the perfect truth that God gives. Each one who shared was so filled with amazement and gratitude to Jesus. Cal and Julie and not given them tools for survival, they had given the understanding of their access to their Savior.
Toward the end, Holland was getting fussy and tired. I got up to walk in the back of the church with her and Silas came with me. She nodded off as the service was wrapping up. Aunt Jules grabbed two of her grandsons and handed them baskets. The baskets had smooth rocks with a cross engraved on one side. Silas watched as she instructed them to stand by the door and hold the baskets for everyone to take a rock as their ebenezer. Jules glimpsed Silas out of the corner of her eye, watching them. She had another basket, she gave it to him, he stood and handed out the rocks as people exited the doors. He had a part, a responsibility, a place.
To end the service, Uncle Cal came and escorted Pake and Beppe to the front of the church. Beppe outstretched her arms and spoke a blessing over the people and Pake prayed. I stretched out my arms and received it, and wrapped my arms around Silas and Holland, wanting to receive it on their behalf, and pass it on to them that evening and throughout their lives. If only there was a way for them to understand the magnitude of the moment.
Hugs and kisses and squeezes and tears as we all started to say goodbye before we left. I stood between Pake and Beppe as they laid their hands on Holland and thanked us for coming out. As moms often do, I said "Holland, say 'I love you, Beppe...I love you, Pake,'". Pake shook his Pake belly with a little choked cry, "oh, she's been saying that all night," and he kissed her head.
Silas and I got into the car and talked ALL the way home. He loved being able to be in church without having to be so quiet and still, and he loved hearing the Korean pastor "pray loudly" and he could tell he was really meaning what he was saying! He loved being able to take communion since he has asked Jesus into his heart and to know that his sins are forgiven. We talked about that night being a little taste of heaven. Worshipping God is fun! It was nearly 10:30 when he finally got into bed, but I doubt he went right to sleep. His heart was just bubbling over, visibly he was feeling spiritually charged.
Several nights ago, I was gone during dinner and Jordan sat with the kids around the table to eat. Silas asked him what the very best thing that has ever happened to him was. Jordan sweetly answered it was meeting and marrying me, and then asked what it was for Silas. He thought for a moment and then said "when I became a Christian."
It was as though the Thank Offering Celebration was the culmination of this summer. This is the Jesus, this is the love, this is the faith and the relationship that I pray my kids inherit and make their own. I know that their are pieces of that reflected in each person in our family. I pray that they aren't limited in seeing Jesus just through Jordan and I, or even through the diverse expression of him in our extended family. Instead, I pray that all the areas where I am lacking, where Jordan is lacking, where even as a combined effort all of the extended family is lacking, would point them to the Jesus who is complete, deserving of all the praise, worship, and adoration that we can ascribe to him.
