I hardly know where to begin. Some of you have been intricately involved with this season from the time it started. Others of you have bits and pieces of the involved story. Some of you have been in your own season and may have missed this all together.
Well, I have to start when I feel like this all started. About 18 months ago Jordan went to a men's retreat with our church. A lot happened there but, and although I hate to cheat the details out of this story, the most important part was that Jordan rededicated his life to Christ. He responded to the ultimate role of spiritually leading his family. That's when things really started to change. God has been requiring obedience from Jordan in a new way since then. He has been learning how to ask God first and then start to move in faith that God will provide and protect.
Last summer I went with my cousins, Shilo and Jasmine, for a girl's weekend. We prayed together that our desire for life would not be manageable greatness, but holiness. We asked God to start shaking up our ideals and giving us his heart for our families instead. I came home recharged and waiting to see the amazing road God was going to take us down.
Just before Jewel was born, literally days before she was born, we learned from the golf course that Jordan's position as Tournament Sales and Director was being eliminated. He was still free to work in the pro shop there, try to teach as many lessons as he could, and work golf course maintenance, but the main source of our steady income would be over in a month. And then I went into labor, after 5 months of ultra sounds and hormone injections at many doctor's appointments. The bills were on their way. For every one that came, God provided an answer in an amazing way. It was evidence of his care for us.
So began the searches for a new job. There was no area left unchecked. Anything that seemed remotely interesting was researched. One idea came to us from friends at church. Jen and Troy are good friends of ours, and Troy is a US Marshal. They were starting a recruiting push in this area and Troy encouraged Jordan to try it out...just see. So, we jumped through all the hoops (and Troy helped from his end) and Jordan made it into the group to go to the informational seminar. It perked his interest. I mean what guy doesn't want to carry a gun and go after bad guys, right? So he turned in his application and resume and we waited. He has no law enforcement experience, no military experience, no educational experience in this arena, but it does sound like an interesting option. They selected him for an interview. In December he interviewed. They hounded him. What does a golf pro want with being a Marshal? Why should we hire you? Let me guess, you thought having a gun would be fun? What can you offer the Marshal program? There were not a lot of good answers, just good ways to answer...with the quiet calmness of the Holy Spirit and the confidence of God's plan. They put him through to the next stage. We waited. In March he passed a rigorous fitness test, with soaring marks. Then we waited some more. The next month he passed an invasive physical exam. Then we waited more. They called him in May and began the 6 month long back ground check. We waited, waited and waited.
In the mean time, we adjusted to life with two kids. We invited a friend of Jordan's to live with us for the summer. The working conditions at the golf course became less and less favorable. The stress began to build. Despite all of our best efforts to allow God to keep us in check, we started slipping into frustration with each other, our situation, and mostly the waiting. It was torturous. In our effort to survive, we were not nurturing ourselves.
God knew what we needed. In late spring I went up to have dinner with my Uncle Cal and Aunt Julie. They live about 45 minutes from us and have been a sweet and steady retreat for us in times of need, and a breath of fresh family love when we need a tight hug and a night to be nourished. They also run a ministry called Masters Mind Ministry out of their home. They do a lot of prayer counseling. After sharing my heart with them one afternoon while my kids were napping there, I had an amazing opportunity to pray with Aunt Julie. God spoke to me in a precious and profound way with completely personal affection for me. She offered to have me come back with Jordan and we could start praying together for our marriage. We did.
In the course of the last several months God has been working out pieces of what he called each of us to over a year ago. When the initial invitation was extended from Him, we both accepted excitedly...in our own way with our own ideas. Then we spent over a year letting go of ourselves and our ideas. We still aren't done. But, we are working in the right direction.
So here we are now. Still waiting. There are all sorts of variables in front of us. I'll do my best to give you the simple version, but it's not simple so this will be tough :) The next step for Jordan in the Marshal process is going to their training camp. The camp is 4 1/2 months long and takes place in Georgia. They begin 1 camp every trimester. Applicants are placed in the camp according to their veteran points. Veteran points can be earned by having military experience, educational experience, law enforcement, or a previous position in a federal job. We have none. So, technically we would not be able to make this next camp that starts in early October because we are at the bottom of the list. However, we have Jesus, and he has connections. Knowing Troy and having him in the Portland Marshal office has been a huge advantage for us. He introduced Jordan to the chief here, an awesome Christian guy, and has been endorsing Jordan all the way. Having a federal judge for a Dad helps in this situation as well. We also have a friend in our community group who is in the FBI and has friends in the Marshals...he gets us inside information on our status,too. It just adds one more star next to your name on a long list of names. We should know in the next few days if the chief here is able to request that Jordan get a spot in the upcoming academy in order to secure a newly opened position in Portland. If that does not happen (if the position we needed to open in Portland did not become available), then we will not make it to this academy. The next one starts probably in February. It will then be subject to the budget cuts of the next fiscal year. If we do get the spot, Jordan will leave for Georgia in a few weeks and then we will for sure return to Portland to take a spot in the Marshal Office here.
However, as I mentioned before, things at the golf course are not going well. Up to this point we had been able to hang on there, hoping it would take us through to the next job. But, God has a different plan for that too. A couple weeks ago I took the kids up to Bellingham to celebrate my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary with my extended family. Jordan had to work and couldn't come...well, God needed some time with Jordan and didn't allow him to go. Separately, God prepared both of us for the next phase together. We decided that regardless of the results with the Marshals, we needed a change. We need time to care for our family and to be cared for by our family.
So, we put our house up for sale.
We sold my car.
Shilo and Jasmine came for 36 hours and we packed almost the entire house.
Jewel turned one.
We turned her car seat around...and she likes it.
I threw her a lame last minute party at the park
My friends threw her a surprise totally awesome party at Lisa's house (yes, this is how awesome my friends are. They threw my one year old a surprise party so that we could all hang out and celebrate with all of our kids even though I was too overwhelmed to plan one myself).
We took advantage of the northwest and picked tons of blackberries (and ate tons, and make blackberry cobbler)
The boys played golf together at the golf course. 
We went to the beach, to get in the sand and the ocean air.
We went to the farmers market while Audrey and Evy were here to play in the fountain and get all our fresh fruits and veggies. (yes, Silas is holding his shorts up in the same way Audrey is holding her dress up...I don't know what else to say. She looks a lot cuter than he does)
We took every opportunity to soak up times with friends (my bday at Cheesecake Factory)
And now? Now we leave for Tucson, Arizona. This Monday, the 13th. It could be for a few weeks. It could be for a few months. It could be for a few years. All of our things are in storage. We are having a garage sale on Saturday. We are packing the Xterra on Sunday. Having a farewell party Sunday afternoon. We are leaving on Monday. Just our little family. We will enjoy the trip, stopping when we want and staying where we want. For sure making going to Tustin to see our new nephew (we will stay until he is born...so get on that Christine).
If Jordan goes to training camp in October, the kids and I will hang out with the family until Jordan is ready for us to join him in Georgia (we'll probably rent a little place there near where Jordan is training). If he doesn't, we'll stay until God asks us to go somewhere else. We are living with family. We are most likely renting out our house in Hillsboro. We are totally unsure of the future or where God will take us. We are totally sure of his love for us and our desire to be obedient.
How are we doing? Of course the details of leaving a house when there is no buyer and no secure job waiting for us is stressful. We are extremely sad to be leaving our friends in Oregon, our church, the family we are within driving distance of visiting, and the gorgeous northwest. We are thrilled to have a family waiting for us who is willing to help us out. We cannot wait for cousin sleep overs, family dinners, playing outside in November, and the richness of surrounding ourselves with our greatest gifts. The middle ground is where we are right now.
How can you pray for us? Please do pray for the details of the house. We want to make the best decisions for the long run. Mostly on our hearts is the desire to be pliable to God's plan. We don't want to get so set in our ideas that we are missing what he has for us. Pray that we keep our eyes and hearts open. And, pray for our little Silas. All of this is totally confusing and strange to him. I know he'll be fine once we get in the car for our trip, but living in an empty house with bare walls and blow up mattresses is taking it's toll on this little guy. Pray that Jordan and I have joyfulness and delight to pass on to him and that we would have wisdom in knowing how to answer "why" for the 10,000 time.
We WILL keep everyone updated. Even though this has been a season of down pouring in our lives, true to the analogy, rain brings forth life. And we are certainly experiencing that as well.
Thank you for your patience as we would love to be able to have personal conversations with everyone, but there just isn't enough time (literally there isn't, I run out of cell phone minutes every month trying!). We love you all tons and tons! I promise to pull a Lisa Corrigan and bust out 20 blogs of recapping the recent important events. There will be more pictures of our trip to California this summer, Jewel's birthday, Silas on his bike, Jewel taking steps, Audrey's visit, our trip to the anniversary party, and much more. For now I am doing my best at being where I am, and fully living each moment. They are amazing.
