kids
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
We've had a rough couple weeks.
When people ask how we are doing it is hard to say. It totally depends on the day, or the moment. Most of the time we are really doing well. Usually I feel like things are tough, but we can totally do it. Sure I am tired, but we are doing better than just surviving, there is fun and adventure and growth. Most of the time.
But this last two weeks has zapped me. It started with some behavior issues with kids, throw in some serious teething, inconsistent schedules, personal struggles with a friend, missed church services, missed opportunities to talk with Jordan, and sleep deprivation caused by all of the above, and I have just been over extended.
But God gave me a turning point.
I think it started on Tuesday night. My cousin Cole and his wife Melissa were at my mom and dad's for dinner. When we finished eating Cole took out his guitar and played several worship songs for us. It was just a small group, and most of the kids were still up, head-banging and leaping from one couch to the other...all worship I am sure. But, we sang some really good songs. I sat just a little bit away from everyone, and found myself blinking back tears as Cole strummed out praises. Music ministers to my soul. I had been really, really thirsty for singing after missing a couple Sundays at church. Later, Melissa and my mom helped me wrap a bunch of my Christmas presents. It was one of the only things I had been really able to cross of my list in a long time. It felt so good to accomplish something concrete that I could see. I ended up staying up really late taking care of other business type of needs. I also was able to send a letter to my friend that gave me incredible peace and freedom. The night was short and the morning early, but we had gotten my mom and dad a Christmas tree the day before and Silas was in heaven helping my mom decorate and the joy in him gave me energy for the morning. Then I finished this major project I had been working on for a very exciting Christmas present that I was so thrilled to get sent out. The kids and I headed out to Hessel and Heather's house. They are out of town for the next few days so we are staying here. Despite some major construction going on, my kids and I were all able to nap for 2 hours. Getting better...
Hessel and Heather just moved to the foothills area in Tucson. This means that their house is resting near the base of one of the mountain ranges on the north side of Tucson. The area has been masterfully constructed with each house elevated just enough above the one in front of it that many of them have breathtaking views of the city. The house itself is really nice. Some people get caught up in the homes here. They drive down the road and miss the mountain range, miss the city lights, and miss the sprawling sky (crazy, I know). But for me, especially for this time, I am taken away by God's incredible creation. When I step out on the back patio I want to throw my hands up in the air and sing at the top of my lungs. It is one of those settings that makes you change your thoughts from "Why is this happening God?", to "I trust and rest in You, O Lord." It makes you breathe in deeply this breath of life, and exhale out any kind of unsettled struggle within you.
There are no cameras that can actually capture the view...but mine did a particularly poor job this time. The dark part of this picture is the city of Tucson and the far mountain ranges.
After staring into the sunset, not wanting to miss a moment, the kids and I got a late dinner and came home for bed. I had a really encouraging and fun conversation with my cousin, Callie, and then snuggled into bed. Both kids slept until 7:30 (later for Silas and a little early for Jewel). We ate breakfast as we watched a storm come across the city. Clouds built and the wind blew. Silas and I sipped hot chocolate with our slippers on while Jewel took her morning nap. By mid afternoon we were getting poured on. It was our first taste of winter for the month of December. I had a very encouraging conversation with my friend, listened to the rain on the sky lights, we made Christmas cookies, listened to Christmas music, and had a long talk with Jordan while the kids played nicely together.
I debated putting a picture of the house, for reference, but really it's the love that is inside this house that is making our stay so sweet, and the creation of God that surrounds it that is the most incredible part.
Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Hessel and Heather. We feel spoiled.
When people ask how we are doing it is hard to say. It totally depends on the day, or the moment. Most of the time we are really doing well. Usually I feel like things are tough, but we can totally do it. Sure I am tired, but we are doing better than just surviving, there is fun and adventure and growth. Most of the time.
But this last two weeks has zapped me. It started with some behavior issues with kids, throw in some serious teething, inconsistent schedules, personal struggles with a friend, missed church services, missed opportunities to talk with Jordan, and sleep deprivation caused by all of the above, and I have just been over extended.
But God gave me a turning point.
I think it started on Tuesday night. My cousin Cole and his wife Melissa were at my mom and dad's for dinner. When we finished eating Cole took out his guitar and played several worship songs for us. It was just a small group, and most of the kids were still up, head-banging and leaping from one couch to the other...all worship I am sure. But, we sang some really good songs. I sat just a little bit away from everyone, and found myself blinking back tears as Cole strummed out praises. Music ministers to my soul. I had been really, really thirsty for singing after missing a couple Sundays at church. Later, Melissa and my mom helped me wrap a bunch of my Christmas presents. It was one of the only things I had been really able to cross of my list in a long time. It felt so good to accomplish something concrete that I could see. I ended up staying up really late taking care of other business type of needs. I also was able to send a letter to my friend that gave me incredible peace and freedom. The night was short and the morning early, but we had gotten my mom and dad a Christmas tree the day before and Silas was in heaven helping my mom decorate and the joy in him gave me energy for the morning. Then I finished this major project I had been working on for a very exciting Christmas present that I was so thrilled to get sent out. The kids and I headed out to Hessel and Heather's house. They are out of town for the next few days so we are staying here. Despite some major construction going on, my kids and I were all able to nap for 2 hours. Getting better...
Hessel and Heather just moved to the foothills area in Tucson. This means that their house is resting near the base of one of the mountain ranges on the north side of Tucson. The area has been masterfully constructed with each house elevated just enough above the one in front of it that many of them have breathtaking views of the city. The house itself is really nice. Some people get caught up in the homes here. They drive down the road and miss the mountain range, miss the city lights, and miss the sprawling sky (crazy, I know). But for me, especially for this time, I am taken away by God's incredible creation. When I step out on the back patio I want to throw my hands up in the air and sing at the top of my lungs. It is one of those settings that makes you change your thoughts from "Why is this happening God?", to "I trust and rest in You, O Lord." It makes you breathe in deeply this breath of life, and exhale out any kind of unsettled struggle within you.
There are no cameras that can actually capture the view...but mine did a particularly poor job this time. The dark part of this picture is the city of Tucson and the far mountain ranges.
After staring into the sunset, not wanting to miss a moment, the kids and I got a late dinner and came home for bed. I had a really encouraging and fun conversation with my cousin, Callie, and then snuggled into bed. Both kids slept until 7:30 (later for Silas and a little early for Jewel). We ate breakfast as we watched a storm come across the city. Clouds built and the wind blew. Silas and I sipped hot chocolate with our slippers on while Jewel took her morning nap. By mid afternoon we were getting poured on. It was our first taste of winter for the month of December. I had a very encouraging conversation with my friend, listened to the rain on the sky lights, we made Christmas cookies, listened to Christmas music, and had a long talk with Jordan while the kids played nicely together. 
I debated putting a picture of the house, for reference, but really it's the love that is inside this house that is making our stay so sweet, and the creation of God that surrounds it that is the most incredible part. Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Hessel and Heather. We feel spoiled.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Dear Aunt Kate...this is for you!
OK, I have really good reasons for not blogging...first of all WAY too much going on. Between squeezing in family time before Jordan left, dealing with him leaving, and surviving without him since I feel totally justified with that right there for my blogging absence. Also, I am now living with the very grandparents I was so committed to keeping updated. My mom doesn't actually need to see pictures of Silas playing in the sandbox or having a sleep over with his cousins...she watches it all first hand. Jordan's mom doesn't need to see pictures of Jewel toddling around our house, she is making mischief right in the Bury's living room! But, the biggest reason is because my PC is not compatible with my parent's internet for some reason. I can't load pictures from my computer onto my blog without using my Dad's aircard. And, when my dad is home, I mostly just want to be with him, not blogging away on the computer :)
But, I realize I have friends and other far away family (shout out to Aunt Kate...I saw your post on my wall that you were wanting news) that may be interested in how things are going here. So...here we go. This week I am staying at Hessel and Heather's house (a blog to come) and my internet works here! So, I'll fit in what I can, try to spread out the postings, and then pick up again after Christmas.
The month before Jordan left, he quit working the job he had been doing in order to spend as much time with us as he could. We essentially had a month long vacation as a family, for free, bouncing between his parent's house and mine. We had as many adventures as we could, snuggled as much as we could, and spent many late nights wondering what our new life in the Marshals would be like.
We took Mandy's kids and Heather's kids and our kids to Sabino Canyon to go hiking (minus Jewel and Abbie). It was one of those days that made me feel like Jordan and I could have 5 kids easily! We had so much fun, the kids were so good, Jordan is just super dad/uncle, creating adventure and fun around every corner (and in every cave). Consequently I am not feeling that way now as just my little 2 seem plenty to handle!
Riding the Sabino Canyon Tram
Some of the snuggles...
We took the kids to Mt. Lemon one day to play in the fall leaves and the boys rode on the ski lift. There are actually better pictures of that day...we went for a gorgeous hike, stopped at breath taking city views, and the kids slept in the car...but, I L.O.V.E. the way Jewel is looking at Silas in this picture. She really adores him. I need to learn to photoshop faces to get a cute one on Silas :)
We spend an amazing weekend up in Phoenix. The reason for our visit was to see our friends Ben and Genea and their kids. Ben and his Dad gave their testimony at Ben's church, it was incredible to see them sharing God's mighty hand in their lives. We stayed two nights at Uncle Mike and Aunt Sally's condo where we were able to swim, go for walks, and stroll across the street for bakery fresh meals and hot coffee.
We celebrated October birthdays with Mandy and her kids...
And my Dad (feeding the fish at his office)
We went for crazy rides in the jeep to the park, 4 wheeling in the wash, and just around town to enjoy the Arizona weather.
Then, we had to say goodbye. Actually, in the last few days, both Jordan and I commented that we were feeling ready. It had a been a month of "the last of this" and "our final that"...and he was anxious to get started (and get finished). The departure day was brutal. It's hard for the kids to understand the sadness and the tears and the forced affection...especially when there are things like escalators, conveyor belts and airplanes everywhere you turn. Thankfully the grownups can be gracious to that...even though it's tricky. Since then there have been short phone calls (we are both super busy and with the 2 hour time difference Jordan is getting into bed the same time I am putting the kids down, so we rarely talk without their interruptions), and some really great Skype times with Jordan and the kids. He will be home for 3 days over Christmas and arrives a week from today. HOORAY! We survived the first leg. Praise the Lord!!
But, I realize I have friends and other far away family (shout out to Aunt Kate...I saw your post on my wall that you were wanting news) that may be interested in how things are going here. So...here we go. This week I am staying at Hessel and Heather's house (a blog to come) and my internet works here! So, I'll fit in what I can, try to spread out the postings, and then pick up again after Christmas.
The month before Jordan left, he quit working the job he had been doing in order to spend as much time with us as he could. We essentially had a month long vacation as a family, for free, bouncing between his parent's house and mine. We had as many adventures as we could, snuggled as much as we could, and spent many late nights wondering what our new life in the Marshals would be like.
We took Mandy's kids and Heather's kids and our kids to Sabino Canyon to go hiking (minus Jewel and Abbie). It was one of those days that made me feel like Jordan and I could have 5 kids easily! We had so much fun, the kids were so good, Jordan is just super dad/uncle, creating adventure and fun around every corner (and in every cave). Consequently I am not feeling that way now as just my little 2 seem plenty to handle!
Riding the Sabino Canyon Tram
Some of the snuggles...
We took the kids to Mt. Lemon one day to play in the fall leaves and the boys rode on the ski lift. There are actually better pictures of that day...we went for a gorgeous hike, stopped at breath taking city views, and the kids slept in the car...but, I L.O.V.E. the way Jewel is looking at Silas in this picture. She really adores him. I need to learn to photoshop faces to get a cute one on Silas :)
We spend an amazing weekend up in Phoenix. The reason for our visit was to see our friends Ben and Genea and their kids. Ben and his Dad gave their testimony at Ben's church, it was incredible to see them sharing God's mighty hand in their lives. We stayed two nights at Uncle Mike and Aunt Sally's condo where we were able to swim, go for walks, and stroll across the street for bakery fresh meals and hot coffee. 
We celebrated October birthdays with Mandy and her kids...
And my Dad (feeding the fish at his office)
We went for crazy rides in the jeep to the park, 4 wheeling in the wash, and just around town to enjoy the Arizona weather. 
Then, we had to say goodbye. Actually, in the last few days, both Jordan and I commented that we were feeling ready. It had a been a month of "the last of this" and "our final that"...and he was anxious to get started (and get finished). The departure day was brutal. It's hard for the kids to understand the sadness and the tears and the forced affection...especially when there are things like escalators, conveyor belts and airplanes everywhere you turn. Thankfully the grownups can be gracious to that...even though it's tricky. Since then there have been short phone calls (we are both super busy and with the 2 hour time difference Jordan is getting into bed the same time I am putting the kids down, so we rarely talk without their interruptions), and some really great Skype times with Jordan and the kids. He will be home for 3 days over Christmas and arrives a week from today. HOORAY! We survived the first leg. Praise the Lord!!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Proud
This is one little girl who is so proud of her Daddy. I found this onesie in a box of clothes we borrowed from Troy and Jen G. (our Portland Marshal friends). I gave all of her clothes back before we left, but with a prayer in my heart that my little Jewel would be able to show off this shirt one day, I tucked the onesie into my suitcase to come with us to Arizona. It is a 12-18 month, so it was a serious prayer as she is already wearing all 18-24 and some 2t. But, when we got our official call on Thursday morning, I ran to my room and dug under my box of sweatshirts and pulled it out. I put it on her right away and with tears in my eyes snapped each little snap successfully.It was fun to snap pictures of her, fun to watch her toddle around with her sweet chunky little legs sticking out...but nothing was as sweet as watching Jordan come home and with shrieks of delight she walked over to him showing off her steps and her Daddy love. He is always excited to see her, always scoops her up and covers her with kisses, always squeezes her tightly. But when he saw her shirt, it was an even higher level of excitement. They just stood there together, giggling and laughing and hugging and celebrating.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Announcing...
On Tuesday of this week, Jordan came home from his job and had a goofy smile on his face. He did his normal thing of unpacking the car and his lunch box, checking his email, and getting ready to get cleaned up (he's working for a contracting company that cleans foreclosed homes...it's messy work). When I saw him he said "I had a neat day today".
I was glad to hear it and asked him to tell me about it. He was just getting started when we heard the garage door open and my mom's car pulling in. He said "I'll wait until your mom comes in". I started to get a racy heart...waiting for her means it is something big.
He started again, telling us about a raise they had given him in pay at work and they gave him extra hours to compensate him for the driving time he's done. I could tell there was more. Then he said "I also got a call from the Marshals today".
WHAT!!!???!!!
Well, the guy who facilitates the fitness tests in Portland called while he was working and left him a message to tell him that his fitness test results had expired (it's been 6 mos since he took it the first time), and he needed to come in on Thursday morning to take another test because it looks like they are going to try to get him into the academy coming up soon.
What does this mean? Do you have to go back to Portland to do it? What is 'soon'? They are going to try to get you in or you are in?
Don't know, Jordan called him back but he didn't answer. Can't celebrate just yet. Too many unknowns. We've been here before.
Wednesday he calls back. Yes, they can do the fitness test in Tucson, that would be fine. Friday morning at 7:30...the other side of town. Well, the facilitator can't really say anything, but he's heard that they are trying to get him into a camp in November or December because they have a job opening for him in Portland.
WHAT???!!!!????
Can't celebrate yet. It's not the official word. It's still just hearsay...he's not headquarters.
Wednesday night, Troy (our Portland Marshal friend) calls Jordan. Had Jordan heard the news? NO, PLEASE TELL US THE NEWS! Troy was in the meeting at the Portland office, Jordan got one of two spots in Portland. Troy thinks maybe academy will start in December.
WHAT???!!!????
Thursday morning, official call from Marshal Headquarters in DC. Offering Jordan a position. Academy starts November 17. It finishes April 1.
Jordan passed his fitness test with flying colors, superior in all categories. I am so proud of his dedication and hard work.
Is this for real? After all this waiting and changing and anticipating and waiting and hoping and wondering and doubting and PRAYING...are we finally actually in?
YES!!!!
God is so far beyond amazing. Of course his timing is perfect. Of course he is totally in control. Of course it is always easier to see it, marvel at it, rejoice in it, bask in it, praise him for it, and just giggle with delight about it when you are on the other side.
I can be a bit independent and self sufficient. I like to do things on my own and feel like I can handle life. I know that had this call come when we were still in Portland, I would not have come to Arizona. I maybe would have come for a visit, or asked my parents or Jordan's parents to come to me, but I would not have moved here for the duration of the academy. I was too set in my way of doing things in our house in our city in our comfort zone. Now that we are here and settled in I can see the immense blessing it is for me to be here. Of course everything up until now has been great, and it will continue to be that way until Jordan has to go, but after that I won't be great. I know it will be hard for me. I know I'll start getting into "survival mode". But, I'll already be here. My kids are already used to everything here. We are settled and safe. This is now "our" everything...here in Tucson where I can be taken care of and have help and support and encouragement. Our rooms, our suburban, our cousins, our grandparents, our backyard, our home.
I am overcome with the personal way God knows me and cares for me. Jordan was probably ready to go to camp months ago...but God knew what needed to be done for me. I feel like I can't believe he loves me so much, and is willing to be so specific in his attention to me. When I think about the details and the planning and the thought...it's just overwhelming to me. Breathtaking and precious. I am personally loved by a God who can orchestrate all of these things, and he orchestrates them with me on his mind. I don't know what else to say...I am bursting with praise and at the same time soaked in humility, I am just overcome by him and that is exactly where I want to be.
We will fill everyone in on more details when we have them. THANK YOU for praying with us and journeying with us. Thank you.
Is this for real? After all this waiting and changing and anticipating and waiting and hoping and wondering and doubting and PRAYING...are we finally actually in?
YES!!!!
God is so far beyond amazing. Of course his timing is perfect. Of course he is totally in control. Of course it is always easier to see it, marvel at it, rejoice in it, bask in it, praise him for it, and just giggle with delight about it when you are on the other side.
I can be a bit independent and self sufficient. I like to do things on my own and feel like I can handle life. I know that had this call come when we were still in Portland, I would not have come to Arizona. I maybe would have come for a visit, or asked my parents or Jordan's parents to come to me, but I would not have moved here for the duration of the academy. I was too set in my way of doing things in our house in our city in our comfort zone. Now that we are here and settled in I can see the immense blessing it is for me to be here. Of course everything up until now has been great, and it will continue to be that way until Jordan has to go, but after that I won't be great. I know it will be hard for me. I know I'll start getting into "survival mode". But, I'll already be here. My kids are already used to everything here. We are settled and safe. This is now "our" everything...here in Tucson where I can be taken care of and have help and support and encouragement. Our rooms, our suburban, our cousins, our grandparents, our backyard, our home.
I am overcome with the personal way God knows me and cares for me. Jordan was probably ready to go to camp months ago...but God knew what needed to be done for me. I feel like I can't believe he loves me so much, and is willing to be so specific in his attention to me. When I think about the details and the planning and the thought...it's just overwhelming to me. Breathtaking and precious. I am personally loved by a God who can orchestrate all of these things, and he orchestrates them with me on his mind. I don't know what else to say...I am bursting with praise and at the same time soaked in humility, I am just overcome by him and that is exactly where I want to be.
We will fill everyone in on more details when we have them. THANK YOU for praying with us and journeying with us. Thank you.
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