We've had a rough couple weeks.

When people ask how we are doing it is hard to say. It totally depends on the day, or the moment. Most of the time we are really doing well. Usually I feel like things are tough, but we can totally do it. Sure I am tired, but we are doing better than just surviving, there is fun and adventure and growth. Most of the time.

But this last two weeks has zapped me. It started with some behavior issues with kids, throw in some serious teething, inconsistent schedules, personal struggles with a friend, missed church services, missed opportunities to talk with Jordan, and sleep deprivation caused by all of the above, and I have just been over extended.

But God gave me a turning point.

I think it started on Tuesday night. My cousin Cole and his wife Melissa were at my mom and dad's for dinner. When we finished eating Cole took out his guitar and played several worship songs for us. It was just a small group, and most of the kids were still up, head-banging and leaping from one couch to the other...all worship I am sure. But, we sang some really good songs. I sat just a little bit away from everyone, and found myself blinking back tears as Cole strummed out praises. Music ministers to my soul. I had been really, really thirsty for singing after missing a couple Sundays at church. Later, Melissa and my mom helped me wrap a bunch of my Christmas presents. It was one of the only things I had been really able to cross of my list in a long time. It felt so good to accomplish something concrete that I could see. I ended up staying up really late taking care of other business type of needs. I also was able to send a letter to my friend that gave me incredible peace and freedom. The night was short and the morning early, but we had gotten my mom and dad a Christmas tree the day before and Silas was in heaven helping my mom decorate and the joy in him gave me energy for the morning. Then I finished this major project I had been working on for a very exciting Christmas present that I was so thrilled to get sent out. The kids and I headed out to Hessel and Heather's house. They are out of town for the next few days so we are staying here. Despite some major construction going on, my kids and I were all able to nap for 2 hours. Getting better...

Hessel and Heather just moved to the foothills area in Tucson. This means that their house is resting near the base of one of the mountain ranges on the north side of Tucson. The area has been masterfully constructed with each house elevated just enough above the one in front of it that many of them have breathtaking views of the city. The house itself is really nice. Some people get caught up in the homes here. They drive down the road and miss the mountain range, miss the city lights, and miss the sprawling sky (crazy, I know). But for me, especially for this time, I am taken away by God's incredible creation. When I step out on the back patio I want to throw my hands up in the air and sing at the top of my lungs. It is one of those settings that makes you change your thoughts from "Why is this happening God?", to "I trust and rest in You, O Lord." It makes you breathe in deeply this breath of life, and exhale out any kind of unsettled struggle within you.

There are no cameras that can actually capture the view...but mine did a particularly poor job this time. The dark part of this picture is the city of Tucson and the far mountain ranges.
After staring into the sunset, not wanting to miss a moment, the kids and I got a late dinner and came home for bed. I had a really encouraging and fun conversation with my cousin, Callie, and then snuggled into bed. Both kids slept until 7:30 (later for Silas and a little early for Jewel). We ate breakfast as we watched a storm come across the city. Clouds built and the wind blew. Silas and I sipped hot chocolate with our slippers on while Jewel took her morning nap. By mid afternoon we were getting poured on. It was our first taste of winter for the month of December. I had a very encouraging conversation with my friend, listened to the rain on the sky lights, we made Christmas cookies, listened to Christmas music, and had a long talk with Jordan while the kids played nicely together.
I debated putting a picture of the house, for reference, but really it's the love that is inside this house that is making our stay so sweet, and the creation of God that surrounds it that is the most incredible part.

Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Hessel and Heather. We feel spoiled.